its not stalking. its research.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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