I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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