Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
