i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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