plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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