Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
