you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
