Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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