I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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