If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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