I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
