it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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