just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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