Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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