the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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