I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
