Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
