on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
