one might say we're banned from that church
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
