why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
