it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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