she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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