He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you win again, gameday.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
