I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
