jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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