i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
