put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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