We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
