I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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