Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
