So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
