yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
