If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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