I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
