I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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