Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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