my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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