people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
