Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
