My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
