I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
