these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
