and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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