I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
