I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
