It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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