also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
