Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
