Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
