soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
